Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
There was a gorilla playing an accordion outside of my last final. I miss college already.
this morning i checked my reflection in the toilet as i was throwing up to make sure i still had my pearl earrings on
you were fixing your hair in the bathroom mirror and then fell backwards through the locked stall while she was in mid pee and fell on her lap.
Doing lines of cocaine in the bathroom and the word 'better' do not belong in the same sentence.
Our dealer is pledging my frat. When he come to sell me weed I make him take out the garbage.
I woke up in your car in the McDonalds parking lot. What the hell happened to 'no man left behind'?
I heard about the break up and if you need a place to stay my vagina is open for you 24/7
college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
She dresses like Bruce Banner and fucks like the Hulk. She is all of my lesbian fantasies come true.
See if shell let you call her dr banner in bed
That's pretty intense. There aren't many people I would pick over a burrito
Of course that's what I'm wearing. I need to find a beard to mount and ride STAT.
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