I just talked to a CEO of a fortune 500 company while pooping. I LOVE being self employed.
I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
Today should be called shooting fish in a barrel day. Every place ive gone to ive met a girl who regrets not hooking up last night. There have not been girls this easy since Fathers Day
so i woke up.. still drunk and discovered my roommate in the living room passed out dick-in-hand watching porn..
What did u do?
turned the porn up and opened the windows so everybody goin to class could see him..
she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
Some great men died of syphilis. I accept your compliment.
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
Ugh I hate you, and the responsible adult life I pretend to have during daylight hours
dont eat that thats our sex nutella.
Just walked by the neighbors and they are definitely butt naked sitting on a bed, watching Netflix, baked out of their minds, with the blinds open.
Welcome to Bellingham.
I am not a slut. I'm just very open with how much I love to have sex. Stop judging.
I hooked up with a blind guy last night... he's clapping in order to find his way around our apartment
I spent the whole ride asking the cabbie if people ever have sex back there, and if he wanted me to make that number one higher.
It's taking every bit of my restraint not to go to the store and buy chips and cake and like steal someone's dog. PMS is so weird.
He was so traumatized by the It's a small world ride but he immediately pulled out a flask from god-knows-where and got drunk before the ride was over. The ride operator didn't blame him.
Randomize
