In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
ps... at the end of one of the videos you yell "let's do the eiffel tower again.. i'll be in the middle!" .. i almost died lolol
You fell asleep leaning on my shoulder at the bar
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
after i talked him through a bulleted list of why we couldn't have sex he just said "but it would be fun...."
They let me keep the giant cocktail glass because I threw up in it. And made out with the bartender. Europeans are so generous. I'm getting it engraved
I just sit in the cubicle for 8 hours and do keagles.
doing an easter egg hunt in a liquor store right now. i feel so adult
So heartbroken my rebound has a rebound
Well start with a list of things you don't want to do... Like maybe 1) I don't want join Isis. That's a good start.
my liver is dry heaving
Somehow I just turned an entire McDonald's bag upside down in my car and not a single fry fell out. The Lord really does work in mysterious ways.
there is a naked boy in my bed & you just need to kick him out because i do NOT want to see him when i'm sober.
Too high to wash a dish but just high enough for a kitchen fire
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