omg. I had the wrong window open and I accidentaly posted my credit card # on twitter
Whats your twitter name
im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
Doctor took one look at my penis and said, 'you don't have herpes, you just masturbate too much'
you have no idea how wierd it is to get nudes while talking to grandma
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
She keeps stunt undies in her bag, 2 sizes too small. She leaves them behind so the guy thinks he was luckier than he was...
How do I tactfully ask if the neighbors downstairs can hear me beating it?
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
Things i learned at work today: do not put mayonaise on a tattoo, it will get infected.
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
Now he's crying and asking for 'the cameras' to come out. The one cop is laughing
Will you fuck me while I eat my burrito though? I'm kind of hungry.
Why can't I come over and snuggle you and make you lick my boots
First aid class means get dry humped by moderately attractive college students during heimlich maneuver training.
Randomize
