My therapist says she wants to work on my 'trust issues'. I think she's found the cash cow within.
shut up i haven't hooked up with anyone since 45 minutes ago
She was so adorably desperate I didn't have the heart to tell her I wasn't a lesbian. So now She's making waffles, may switch teams over this.
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
Are you asking me on a date where we get shithoused and do some fingerpainting?
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
i'm just sitting here watching hocus pocus, eating takeout, and taking self esteem quizzes online while everyone is out partying. you tell me how my night is.
I did the mature thing and subtweeted that bitch. She follows me so she'll see.
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
If you fall asleep, my vagina and I will never forgive you.
She doesn't believe I only want to use you for sex. She has a much higher opinion of me than either of us do.
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
You tried to fight someone about spaghetti o’s?
That hungover.
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
I apparently ooze single. The second I left his house after break up sex five of my old booty calls text me
Randomize
