is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
dude, mark had the least successful cab ride in history last night. took a cab to the bars, stopped at every atm in the city, none worked, then had to come back to the party to beg for 20 to pay the taxi that officially took him nowhere.
Sometimes I forget to take my socks off when I masturbate. This always makes me feel like I'm accidentally in a porn.
I just got fire extinguished by his roommate while we were having sex. That's just taking cock blocking to a whole new level.
well since you're still married, you will be paying for my abortion right?
Who would win... a chainsaw pooping pterodactyl or a bear with machine guns for feet. big debate about this right now
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
She spilled creme de menthe on her crotch and I told her she looked like a menstruating Vulcan (costume idea!). Obviously, I went home alone.
Remember when there was a happier time when people could all hang out together with out the awkwardness of the fact that she stole $1000 and cheated on a brother with another brother !?!??
Look, all I can tell ya is I want to drink wine out of a bottle while you eat me. It would be the most fantastic end to finals week. Maybe ever.
This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
I'm drunk and kinda wanna go home but now I have to go have more sex, my boxers are in the dryer
I got drunk. Then I took a shit.
It was a good shit
I’ve been home 1 day and already had sex with my ex and got a blowie from her cousin and currently I’m getting molested by a cougar at the bar!!!! Plenty to give thanks for this year!!!!
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
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