its sad that the first thing i assume is that ur trying to indirectly tell me you fucked on a breakfast table
by asking you if you bought one for the apartment?
I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
the guy i hooked up with is asleep on our couch. please dont fuck him.
My vagina makes bad decisions like its her job
He's a waiter, looks 15, and told me he loved me after only talking to me for 30 minutes. I told him I wanted a margarita. We got 3 free pitchers. I may have to make this our regular Wednesday night hangout.
He hit on a bridal shower w/ his hand on my tit the entire time. Gave his number to the mom.
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
You can drink as much as you want but it's not gunna make her forehead any smaller
I was hoping it might at least fix her teeth
He asked me how france is treating me
Tell him you got so much dick you may never come back to the US. That ought to keep him away
I'll have you know my trust issues and my daddy issues are two COMPLETELY different topics of conversation.
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
I can tell right now that knowing you will either be really fun or ruin my life
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
Listen here, Ms. "I'm Gonna Get Super Drunk and Run From My Friends Screaming That They Were Going to Drag Her to a Scientology Recruitment Camp"...
Randomize
