She told you broke her computer after the little square in tetris wouldn't rotate for you...
I'm sitting by the window waiting for the sun to go down so that I can start drinking.
Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
it was like fucking with batman, he had gadgets i never even imagined
I kept reassuring him that I was easy like Sunday morning, not easy like "I've had 6 shots of tequila and haven't had sex in three months"
I swear if she asks me for a baby one more time I'm gonna sleep with one of her friends
It was awful. Their identical twins so it was like having sex with Jeff wearing a wig and shaved legs.
Yep I can make a seagull sound. It's identical. I tried it. They thought I was talking to them. It's pretty cool.
I gotta say, I do way better with the ladies than I do the men. So if it turns out being gay is a choice, then I'm going to go ahead and choose it.
I had jack at 8 am= instant drunk
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
So, I never imagined myself puking on the side of the road at 10:30 this morning to Lynyrd Skynyrd but here I am.
She told me I was absolutely not allowed to sleep with him even though she knows I'm a rule breaker who loves a good challenge.
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
He walked into the bar with a pineapple and they served him AND the pineapple
Randomize
