I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
I always wonder when I meet a guy from online if he needs a moment to mentally register and accept the size of my ass. maybe ill wear a dress.
oh hey just found a glowstick in my tits. fuck yes new years eve
can we change the rule from "no one is ugly after 2 am" to 1130 so i can justify last night
I can't wait to hear about your drunken cab ride to planned parenthood at 2pm
And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
Have you ever chugged beers in the hospital parking garage with your mom?
you're avoiding the subject, i want to know how you ended up at the strip club with the dog, fucker
History professor is at the bar. Hurry! There's only so many A's he could give before it starts to look bad.
I HAVEN'T FUCKED ANYONE IN FOREVER AND A HALF I DON'T DESERVE TO BE A TRASHY BLONDE
I'm so hungover. I just keep eating the otter pops I'm trying to use to get rid of my hickies.
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
He told me he wished he could shrink down to a small size so he could live inside my cleavage
Liquor has joined the party. Aly just fucking yelled "I LOVE COOKING" and poured margarita mixer, ice and tequila into the blender.
I'm just too horny to handle empty house
Randomize