Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
two fat guys on crotch rockets just invited me to 'party' with them at a del taco. why does this keep happening to me?
she went apple picking. why dont we do cute things like that? let's go to a pumpkin patch!
because we're not cute. we're sluts. and sluts don't go apple picking.
Some great men died of syphilis. I accept your compliment.
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
Just to warn you I probably wont be able to do anything that involves standing up
He also gave me two gold stars for sex. On my nipples.
Tell me again why I left before the topless cake fight
I found them in the bathroom trying to wrap an American flag around Steve's dick. I didn't bother to ask questions.
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
I am now "wine pairing" tums flavors with my strongbow, because apparently hard cider gives me heartburn.
Showed up to the airport to find my fuck buddy is on the same flight. Do you think he'd be intertested in the mile high club?
I have 35 pounds of pennies. Need any?
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
Just had an emotional break through with the dog. That high.
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