We're playing Edward Bottle-of-eight-dollar-sale-wine-hands now
Drinking with birthday clown in the backyard shed at a 5 year olds birthday party at 12 in the afternoon. My life doesn't need any adjustments
My Grampa even called her out for being a cock block at the bar...it was that serious
Just drove past the dude that came in your sock
That moment when you cant decide between eating spaghetti or a Popsicle for breakfast
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
Last night at the bar you we're seriously going up to people and pushing through them like they were bowling pins and you were a bowling ball
currently working on a look that screams, "I'm dead inside, but still trying to enjoy the ride"
FUCK IM ABOUT TO GET A DICK PIC IN THE LIBRARY
Omg I just woke up. In the hallway outside my room. I know you had something to do with this
But actually he solved 40% of my life problems just in one dicking
They have one of those claw machines here... with a dildo in it...
My co-worker accidentally texted me regarding the threesome him and other one are planning.
She then told me, and I quote "I want to send you nudes just to see how you'd react."
He sided with his father, so I slashed his tires. I’d say that’s a fair trade.
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