White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
In a bar in glasgow talking to a 12 year old about life. Welcome to Kentucky.
Just saw a guy wearing pink jeans and i bet he's straight. Fuck 2009.
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
Why the fuck did you text me at 4 in the morning telling me not to have sex with the bird?
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
Made eye contact with a friendly neighborhood dog walker while violently puking out the window. How's your Wednesday going?
You kept trying to make cocktails with my protein powder last night...
All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.
Scientific fact: if he makes a face like a demonic dog when he's fucking you, makes it easier to fuck without feelings.
You took acid last night and I’m up early to go to the grand opening of a new TJMaxx by my house. We couldn’t be more perfect.
I dont understand why i cant be a wizard
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