i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
His pick-up line from last night: "I bet you cant climb these stairs right now." Needless to say.. it worked.
he showed up at my house with a hand-stiched sweater that said "girlfriend?"
Our local strip club now has karaoke. Do you realize what this could mean for my sex life?
Bitches at mcdonalds acting like they never seen a girl puke in her own coat pocket before
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
Lots of alcohol. 3rd graders fuck me now.
Auto correct or actual 3rd graders?
the last thing i remember is yelling at the cab driver that i'm really good at drive by vomitting.
Beer pong consisted of me throwing a ball at the wall and then falling over because moving my arm made me dizzy. I think our team lost.
Two words that describe last night: naked and backflips.
Taking Gomer to the ER. He tore something trying to stretch his nutsack enough to put his balls in his own ass. I need new friends.
What does puking wasabi feel like?
Like snorting cocaine backwards.
I just woke and boke and made apple pancakes. I'm kicking Monday in the dick.
Its like your face is a pile of corn and I'm a chicken
...What??
Randomize
