I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
He said he only talked to me because I talk dirty in bed.
And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
those are the first brownies ive had since i was 13 that didnt have weed in them.
some guy just asked me if water gets in a vag when girls take a bath. WTF. it's not a wind tunnel!
who has that picture of us looking like alcoholics at the zoo?
We fucked in your water heater closet. Told you we'd try everywhere.
You're like my zumba instructor for alcoholism right now
His 21st birthday is in the middle of shark week, it's meant to be.
You know being hammered seven days in a row can do serious damage to your liver.
Text me on Monday and make sure I'm still alive
I want to reach into my vagina and rip out my uterus with my bare hands. Understand how much it hurts now?
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
She's started this new thing where whenever she drives by random couples talking alone outside she yells "break up! this is your sign!"
That edible kicked in right as I was upside-down on that rollercoaster. Fucking.mind.blown.
Do you think they manscape in the zombie apocalypse?
Randomize
