Tell her she's as useless as a condom.
I vomitted in the hotel where they film gossip girl last night. Everywhere.
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
there's a girl in the coffee shop just eating a pint of ben & jerry's
SMART GIRL
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
I have a strict rule of what enters my vajay. It's either sparkly, or human. Anything else and I draw the line. Standards.
Then you jumped in the pool because your were convinced the scratches on your neck from the cat were gills and you could breathe underwater.
so you know how I brush my teeth after I give you a bj? according to my dentist my teeth have never been cleaner. looks like this will be a recurring thing
Maybe one day we'll get unicorn butt tattoos together
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
I told him to send me a dick snap for my birthday. To personalize it, he drew a candle coming out of the tip of it so I could blow it out.
How does one take the "you're the best sex I've ever had but I'm marrying someone that's sub-par in the sack" mind fuck?
I pity the fool.
Thanks Mr T.
RICK FUCKING MORANIS!!!!!
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