Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
so i'm just gonna leave my credit card in your mailbox so you can bail me outta jail.. deal?
Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
Dude feel your hair right now it feels so weird like pasta
I don't think he understands what an important role his penis plays in my level of self esteem
I think whatever his name is just puked on the stairs. Just an fyi for the morning. Love you.
any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
Just to save you guys the surprise, somebody shit outside of our door.
no, she just came home, mumbled about being a gerbil out of water then ate half cooked chicken nuggets.. normal night
Curdled. you forgot that word. It was a curdled buttery nipple shot.
You were drinking whiskey from a beer bottle i dont know what you really expected...
I currently look like a drunken mermaid, god I love beach parties.
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
handcuff keys just fell out of my bra....wtf happened last night?
I want you to remember that you started masturbating in front of a car full of people. That drunk.
Randomize
