omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
There is a banner on a house by campus that says "welcome to college dads. Thanks for dropping off your daughters!"
she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
he just left. I blew him in my kitchen while my parents slept down the hall. Welcome back home!
we bought a duck. we're keeping him in our dorm room. don't ever try to tell me you've had a better freshman year than me.
Oh my fucking god you idiot bitch just get here forget about the vodka the fucking cops are looking for you
I'm cool with a hey old buddy how have you been want to fuck me in the butt kind of thing
Rick just drank rum out of a dog bowl after a dog already drank out of it.
It wasn't even dirty talking, it was more like the soothing gentle nonsense noises you make when you've spooked a horse.
Sorry for face planting onto the table with all our alcohol on it
And they're not making a turkey. My cousin was "hoping to shoot a bird this week"
Are you missing a tooth after last night? Because I found one in my coat pocket...along with what smells like dried jäger and a package of deer jerky.
Uh not that I recall.
Oh wait nvm. It's mine. Yeup, definitely my tooth.
Apparently swingers are magnetically drawn to me?
So you're willing to shred any respect that you had for your body on some random chick who's only looking for sex? That's the worst thing I've ever heard.
I mean, it won't be 100% meaningless, I know her middle name.
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
Randomize
