You really coming over, don't trick.
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
He bought me a flower. He's totally getting head every day for a week.
ps if your frozen peas taste like crotch it's because some dude kicked me in the nuts while trying to do a keg stand and I needed an ice pack
I thought the cops would know I was on shrooms because I was 10ft tall.
He's coming over, and I hope he doesn't get hungry. I'm sure its not proper protocol to bring one booty call to another booty call's house for the munchies.
so my mom thinks I'm picking you up just to go buy you liquor before you go back to school tomorrow...
I'm ashamed that your mom thinks I haven't already taken care of that.
Two questions. One. Where are you watching election results tomorrow? Two. Can we have Obama victory sex?
Please tell me how I go from a guy with a coke problem to a cop. My own life doesn't even make sense to me anymore
No more morning sex. Just for once, my vagina would like to go to work bone-dry and bone-free.
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
the only reason I'm still sleeping with him is to get the university's secure wifi password
EX BOYFRIEND'S TWINS WERE BORN TODAY. THIS CALLS FOR A MARG.
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
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