is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
Dude, a dry wedding reception should nullify the vows, because really, without the booze, you might as well be 5 years old again and playing dress-up
You brought back some girl with you at 3am and introduced her to everyone as "hot pocket"
If i come home from court on friday.. i'm definitely doing something illegal.
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
reason #14 for loving my boobs...just got out of a 40mph over the limit speeding ticket thru a work zone. i dont think the cop knew i even had a face
No way. Our relationship is based solely on texting and sex. A phone call would be too much at this point.
I just licked the seasoning off all the doritoes in the bag. Tell me when I should stop drinking or I'll just move on to the sunchips
You just begged me to mute the porn and watch her ass bounce while listening to dubstep the whole time.
She wants to practice her harmonica skills on my penis
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
He came over apologized for his lack of sexual skills. Cleaned my kitchen cooked me dinner. And gave me another one minute stand. I think im okay with this
Good thing he's hot and my vagina likes him or I'd be at Dennys right now.
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