problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
before tonight, i was terrified of what tequila would make me do. but all it did was make me hook up with a movie star. sooo basically tequila's my new fave
He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
Oh so it was one of those "I shouldn't have gotten in a cab with a random 21 year old girl" kinda nights.
I searched the house and found a small bottle of sherry which is probably as old as I am, has prob gone off and tastes like shit. I don't care any more. It has come to this.
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
it doesn't matter, he's just a life support system for his dick
Is it bad juju to glue mini budda to the bottom of a shot glass
U know this is gone far when im in the bathroom trying to take a pic of my asshole
You gotta have 1 orgasm for me and the rest can be for you. I'm living vicariously through you 😂
I don't care how hot she was. She didn't like Scooby Doo and I don't fuck with that.
There's nothing wrong with using cocaine to keep my heart rate up in my fitness class.
The cashier looked at my basket, looked at me and said "That's a lot of wine." I looked at her and said "Mother in law." She nodded approvingly.
His sister hates me so I took his virginity on her bed
Randomize
