somebody snuck up and got me drunk
Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
And if you don't call me, I will embarrass you publicly with a can of spray cheez.
Apparently, banging my bartender ex-girlfriend = free drinks again. Not every bad decision is a wrong decision.
If there's ever a time when I've matured to the point that I don't want to look at camera-phone-titties, go ahead and bury me in a shallow grave by the railroad tracks.
Why is the garage door in the middle of the street?
My day may involve a drug pinata. I LOVE MY LIFE.
You should make a checklist to ensure they are quality material. Here's mine: wearing shoes, not drunk, very hot, has teeth, speaks english. You never know
I vaguely remember seeing that couple making out in front of that store and i yelled "I ALSO LOVE THE ROCKY MOUNTAIN SOAP COMPANY!"
Dinner was cheetos vodka and whiskey. This is what happens when even your booty call breaks up with you.
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
99% of the contents of my handbag are ketchup packets and condoms. I feel that says a lot about me as a person.
That's like a fucking falcon or some shit. I don't know birds but I know that is not a bird you fuck with.
So, I feel bad. I just told my husband I had sex with someone else while on a business trip. Today is his birthday. I'm kind of a dick.
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
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