do you know how scary it is to wake up in a CATSCAN machine after a night of drinking?
Before we started fucking, he laid me on the bed, and asked my what my sleep number was, so that i would be "comfy"
please explain to me why there is a shopping cart in my living room.
Found her in the closet eating mayo out of the jar with a knife
I'm so proud of your ability to turn my Charlie horse last night into anal sex.
We ended up getting arrested after we flagged down the cops for a ride home with open beers in our hands... turns out the "nobody told me" excuse doesn't cut it anymore
So drunk. Washed my hair un pancheros sink cus I was so hot.
Christ, I really took the slutcake last night.
Wait. Someome brought slutcake?
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
I FEEL like I celebrated someone's 21st, but really I just celebrated Tuesday.
I need a straight guy to pretend to be my boyfriend for 30 minutes so that I can pull off an act of petty vengeance. Interested?
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
Does it qualify as sexting if you're both pretending to be fictional characters?
I'm not sure whether to be proud of you or weirded out.
In light of this week's heat-wave, we are having a house vote tonight on the temporary suspension of the "no smoking indoors" clause. Please bring your voting cards to the living room at 6:30pm
Point of Clarification: by "voting card" we mean a full beer and/or shots
You rolled onto your side and told me 'this is the recovery position'. That was after you were stoned. You've done this way too much.
Randomize
