Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
SHE has hooked up with both me and my sister. I don't even know what to say. If she goes for my parents next I may have to kill her
She's like the pied piper of lesbians.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK FUCKABLE IN AN ALL NEON SPANDEX JUMPSUIT?
you think that next time i come over to do this you can pick up the condom wrappers you used on the other girls
by "whatever happens, happens" i meant "we are totally hooking up again on tuesday." i thought that was obvious.
You rubbed your penis on my leg and said "people have paid for this kind of action"
Somebody found our where I was and called the bar looking for me. When the bartender called my name I finished my beer and took off like a fugitive.
Pretty sure I'm going to hell because of our friendship
Last one there wins
I am honestly trying to remember his name. All I can remember is that he had a weird mole, a daughter and a lot of cocaine. Please stop letting me pick up at gay night.
I slid a quarter down a drunk man's butt crack last night. Qdoba gets rowdy
Earlier today I was eating cookie dough from a tube, now I'm laying naked next to a hot guy watching Pawn Stars in between orgasms. You really can have it all.
If people had ratings on Tinder I'd give you 5 out of 5 stars.
Oh and people at work think i got knocked up so my gay roomie is claiming it as his lol
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