He kept asking me to take off my bra and I sat up so he could. He fumbled with it for a few minutes and when I sighed and went to undo it he goes, "Yeah, you got this."
like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
Beer is about to convince me to do something really stupid.
Just got the test results back. All clean, Now whose an idiot for going bareback in South America for 3 months straight.
I woke up and took my shirt off, and there was what I was assume to be pieces of tree in my chest hair. Any ideas about that one?
you're being fucking weird and i don't like it. text me when you're not being the after picture on a poster for rehab
How soon is too soon to enter the slutty phase of this breakup?
Adding to the list of things I have said out loud at the bar that I shouldn't have: "I am the yoda of sucking dick"
why is "bang the student affairs grad assistant" the third highest thing on your semester goals list
I did way too many drugs this past week for having a broken nose #commitment
How awkward is it to have the guy you used to sleep with congratulate you on your engagement? I'll tell you. Very.
i think i just lost a toe
Nothing like casual arson to brighten your day
Oh god I just had an orgasim riding my bike. I need to get laid pronto.
He forgot how to sit. we had to pick him up and set him down.
Randomize
