I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
just realized we made a drinking game to how many times they say "hakuna matata" in the lion king last night... hello sophomore year.
Guy next to me at the plasma center is high and watching porn on his itouch. I am wayy to hung over for this level of poor.
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
My brother just asked if I would keep having one nighters with that guy because he really likes the organic cotton v-necks he leaves behind.
I got up before the sun today. That makes me sun for the day.
When did you start smoking in order to be high by 4:30?
Okay do all 29 year olds have erectile dysfunction or just the two I've slept with?
If you say no to drinking on a Monday then I'm going to take you to the hospital for a MRI
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
We went to Olive Garden so high we didn't talk and managed to be awkward enough for the waiter to ask if it was our first date
How do I cancel buying spotify premium for two homeless people?
DO NOT TRY TO APPROACH HER CAT. IT IS A DEMON CAT FROM SATAN'S BALLS AND IT *WILL* TRY TO KILL YOU. I SPEAK FROM EXPIRENCE.
it was a hallmark card with butt plugs.
Fuck man, I am really high rn and all I've eaten is different forms of pie
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
Randomize