Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
Well the bottom line is that I had to completely coat my testicles in Neosporin.
I made a mac n' cheesicle. Better in my head than in real life. Gonna keep smoking to see if it gets better.
Just walked by a group of guys calling out walks of shame with a mega phone from their front porch.
the facebook you made of my ass has 10 times more friends than i do.
There are flashing lights and a man dressed as Santa with a bullhorn in my cul de sac.
I'm not sure if this is awesome or scary.
The important thing is not that we avoid making mistakes, but that we avoid learning from them.
He's asking if he can send a dick pic. How do I politely decline that?
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
Like Is it appropriate to tell your boss you banged a guy in the back of a truck at a wedding? Probably not.
Welp... sober this am and I still have a parrot.
The stall at this bar had mirrors all around. I just looked at myself take a shit from like 3 different angles
Bro, that'd be the third dick I've taken down in the office.
Randomize
