Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
yeah he couldn't walk in a straight line and started throwing up and told the cop he just has an astigmatism
i looked at my phone and realized all i had said to her the entire night was misspelled variations of "NOTHING IS THE SAME" over and over. she eventually stopped replying.
I was just sitting on the ground alone in fetal position shivering and chewing on my hand when she found me. ecstasy was not my best idea.
You chucked an empty vodka bottle against the wall and yelled "Everyone calm the fuck down, it's just the cops." After 10 seconds of silence I looked over and saw you pissing their fountain.
Didn't know where your dishes went. Put em in the bathtub. They're stacked taller than you. It's like modern art.
I chose not to drink last night but drinking chose me
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
At one point of the night i was standing at the bar and 3 of them had their hands down my pants, they were like thumb wrestling for it.
saw a family tailgating a graduation with hard liquor... i'm assuming yours?
are you shitting me? they told me they'd at least wait until 10am
My freshman suitemate just walked into the kitchen to find my fuck buddy making chicken enchiladas without me anywhere to be found. Awkward or awesome?
Just found out my dad smokes weed too. Mom, grandma, all aunts and uncles, and now my dad too. It's like I'm genetically engineered to be a stoner.
The cops asked Ben if he was drunk and he slurred "I'm man enough to admit that I am" with a southern draw
Neighbor just came over and asked if I had anything to clean blood out of carpet... it's definitely time to move.
Randomize