my sisters under your porch take her home
the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
you tried to tell me that ice cream had no calories because they were "frozen"
I just wanted to yell " i am not a shake weight!!"
i just threw up in the porta potty. i am in no condition to be guarding anyone's life rite now.
youre just mad i got the high score on the breathalyzer
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
The girls at the police department photocopied my drinking ticket and told me to frame it and hang it on my wall. Then they gave me a free muffin and told me to party smarter next time.
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
I went to her house she had a kid pool in her living room watching the vacation channel drinking rum out of the bottle saying" life is what you make it. Mines a vacation!!!"
I woke up with my vibrator in my bed so I'm assuming I had a decent night.
I opened the door and his girlfriend was standing there; we made silent, prolonged eye contact as I quietly put on my panties and left.
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
you bit my nipple really hard and then looked at me and said 'i feel responsible for the state of your nipples'
Here's a tip: do NOT chant "MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS." during sex because the Packers won against the Giants.
Randomize
