Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
i told the doctor i drank a college amount of alcohol. judgemental prick
I'm not 100% sure, but I think someone gave me a bath last night...
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
There's nothing like puking in the airport on the way TO Vegas. Something tells me i pregamed a little too hard.
On the couch having a debate with the dog over whether eating anothr sweet roll will make the hangover better or worse
I whispered "you're doing a great Job" when he was fucking me. Then high fived him.
I should work for the FBI. Or planned parenthood.
That's quite a broad spectrum. What did you do?
I also think about what hot dudes penises are gonna look like when theyre 80 and it's not pretty
Do you think if I tell the hot Santa at work that I want a sugar daddy for Christmas that he'll get the hint?
It's called the dick transitive property. It states if you touch a person whilst they touch a dick, you are also touching said dick.
My mom just asked me about the teeth marks on my headboard..
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
What's that? Is there a bottle of Jack calling me? I think so...
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