do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
were you wearing a green and blue thong last night?
yes! wait why?
because i found it in my pocket this morning...
His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
Dude. Yeah. This is a game changer. I feel dirty and possibly pregnant and it hasn't happened yet.
AND I JUST GOT FUCKING DAUGHTER ZONED. NO. I'M DONE. I HATE BOYS. ASEXUALITY HERE I COME.
she broke up with me the week she got divorced. maybe I should grab a beer with her ex
Oh and apparently something happened that was related to "THIS IS SPARTA" but no one will tell me what I did.
So I'm going to blame my boobs hurting on that.
Better safe and shitfaced than hungover and in need of another surgery.
I have so many feelings about this burrito
Tent sex on an air mattress requires balance and flexibility. Not for the faint of heart
Like he's moved to LinkedIn creeping on me since he's blocked everywhere else & I'm just so confused does he think I'm going to post daily updates of my life on FUCKING LINKEDIN
You can tell by the way he cuddles that he's got mommy issues
I just want you to know you're the worst sister ever.
If this is about me and your ex, it's not my fault she doesn't like men.
Randomize
