I shampoo & condition my pubes, sometimes i wish my face was closer so i could rub against it cause it feels like plush
Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
every time I see Anne Hathaway all I can think is "my cousin fucked a guy who fucked her" and it makes me proud.... so I want to say thank you for being that cousin.
Like if Robert Downey Jr. and Kiefer Sutherland got together for a bender, that's how drunk I want us to be.
the cops didn't wanna shut the tailgate down but the strippers weren't allowed to take money without a license or somthing
I just opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a tube of mascara. Get on my level
It's 5:30am in Vegas and I'm eating McDondalds next to crying prostitutes.....low point.
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
Steve, that episode of cops where your dealer rear-ended that family is on again.
We were 6 minutes into the movie before we realized the whole movie was spoken in Italian. That level of stupidly-ripped
I come into the house and he's fucking doing karaoke by himself... Lady gaga
I hate when I'm sexting and I make a typo.
You just killed the sext mood.
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