She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
just added God to my list of friends who can only see my limited profile on facebook. its such a relief to know that He can't watch me fuck up my life anymore.
they named it eva bongoria. i had to hit it based on the name alone.
literally overdrew my bank account at 3 in the morning to eat subway with 7 sherriffs.
This would be a good time for the don't get drunk and bang a married chick pep talk...
seeing two freshman taking a cab home at noon on a Monday makes me realize how much worse my life choices could have been
I ended up naked with smirnoff caps on my nipples. Dignity is now a completely foreign concept to me.
Bro. Some kids just drive-by judged the shit outta me.
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
Me and my bruised tit have to wake up at 4 AM.
We talked about breaking up, had sex, and in the middle of said sex, talked more about breaking up- best sad day ever
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
Shotgunning beers in the shower. Mom would be proud.
Remember that one time you told the bartender he was fuckable? Well, he's here.
Im getting out of handcuffs then i'll give you a call
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