I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
any plan I had today of being a productive member of society, I am officially throwing out the window.
I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
Getting pregnant off pre-cum is like getting high off erasers
i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
I'm on the strip, it's like a mini new years eve. Some girl just got taken away on a stretcher with her meter margarita in her hand claiming it's trophy for being awesome. Damn tourists are lightweights.
just once i'd like the "right thing" and the "topless thing" to be the SAME THING
There is a pile of hair outside the apartment next door. At least now I know what all that shouting was about last night.
Is "when in doubt date the guy with the bigger dick" a good philosophy?
Note to self: if you decide to go to the gym when you're coming down from your day high to shoot some hoops, do NOT play pickup basketball with the big black dudes who need a sixth
I'm sure nobody at Walmart was wondering why I was wearing a glittery tutu and needed $300 changed into small bills
Who the fuck stole my fridge again
If its not for food we ain't going out.
When your grandma invites you to a sweet girls' Valentine's dinner with your mom and sister, but you have to decline because you're trying to get two dudes to rail you at once...
Randomize
