Just spent the rest of my time at that bar trying to keep a probs underage closet gay from touching my kitten to prove he still likes girls.
I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
As my groomsman, I expect you to learn the Thriller dance with me before next September.
it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
not my fault. i got her to believe he wrote an oasis song. he still managed to find a way to make sure no girl ever gets near his penis.
We walked in and found his glass coffee table broken and you in the bathroom throwing up saying "What a bad first impression."
please dont pick me up from the airport dressed like a terrorist.
I almost got away with it until she smelled beer on the stroller.
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"
He walked door to door asking if anyone needed to get laid. Surprisingly, that ended his drought
Youre having a picnic
Yeah but all we have is vodka, so it's getting a bit out of hand.
I just want to make out with him forever
I had my first "Damn Kids/When I Was That Age" rant at work today. We need to drink this feeling out of me. NOW.
Uh oh. Put down the vodka cancel the clowns and get rid of the donkey
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