Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
I just smelled my beer. It smells like coming home.
come over. we are watching hoarders and playing i spy.
You were almost as fucked up as I was the night I hooked up with a bob saget look alike...
I'm drinking screwdrivers in the pool naked. Call 911 if I don't check in regularly
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
I can't tell which way is up. Too many corners around his house too. An arbitary assimilation of edges.
Christ, I swear you are the high man's Dr. Seuss.
Dude. My cat just tried to bat the tampon string hanging from body. NOT COOL, SEYMOUR. NOT COOL.
You slid down a wall, tried to pull your cast off and yelled that casts were too conformist.
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
Life without a bra equals bliss.
If I die on my walk home, please come claim the body. There is $30 in my left shoe for you....for pizza
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
i stood outside in the bushes for thirty minutes. Do you know how many drunk guys pee in bushes at 2 am?
Do you think it's illegal to drive without your pants on?
Randomize
