I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
we went to the store to buy cookie dough and conditionally went straight towards the booze
Just got the test results back. All clean, Now whose an idiot for going bareback in South America for 3 months straight.
every time i wear that dress i get kicked out of a bar.
I guess I gave him a 20 minute play-by-play of the first three sections of R. Kelly's 'trapped in a closet.'
I kinda wanna eat your hands right now.
Put down the everclear and go to bed.
You never know, some chick could have a weird unibrow fetish.
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
He's going to let me keep his bowl in my car. Does that make us Facebook official?
The world is a different place when I'm actually having sex
You are not going to get a pat on the back from me for not fucking that 40 year old again.
So I think I've successful blown my foot off in a way that's going to make you call me an idiot.
And remember people can't hear you kick ass in space
She's not allowed to do acid anymore... she started crying because she thought she was an eagle.
So my step mom just informed me she tells stories about me at work as a form of birth control for the girls that work there, not sure if i should be offended or proud.
Randomize