his text ended with ... everyone knows dot dot dot equals infer sexy time
I thought this kinda shit only happens to ugly people
it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
Yeah. I realized I have a weakness for drugs and I need to move somewhere where I don't know how to find them.
I still have his teeth marks on the base of my penis. You didnt miss much
My mom just sent me this: "I like Jon, but he needs to be the one going down on you! Yeah, we saw your head pop up in your car last night."
I'm still pretty stoned. There are mini rice cakes in my robe pocket to snack on in the shower.
Maybe why that's why I'm perpetually single... I can't find a guy with bigger balls than mine.
FML I accidentally sent the text about his bruised balls as a group text that included his brother and my boss.
I have 2 voicemails from u last night. one of them is just 5 min of u saying "doodling"...
At least your wife cheated on you. Women will feel bad for you. In a month there will boy bands that are jealous of your dick
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