So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
I saw him at work today and he gave me a really awkward "I know what you do drunk" look...
you need to do more things constructive for your career. like wearing pants more often.
I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
My dad assaulted a TSA agent this morning. Shut down airport security. Don't tell me that your family is embarrassing.
she insisted that i refer to her boobs by name.
I'm sorry I kept calling last night when you wouldn't pick up. I'm REALLY sorry I sang "You Oughta Know" on more than 4 voice mails.
every time i wear that dress i get kicked out of a bar.
maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
Not only have I fallen off the wagon, it ran me over and just kept going...
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
So that advice that humming stops you from puking? Yeah no, just puked through my nose.
idk how I feel so profoundly understood by someone whose latest tweet is "labia majora's mask." but I do.
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
But we made up last night and had unbelievably crazy sex tonight. I legit went blind for like 15mins from him choking me. It was awesome
Randomize
