508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
I am a mess. Weirdest thing: I woke up with a hammer under my pillow. No idea why.
Found my smoke alarm in a ziploc in my toilet...again
I woke up in a sink... Not like curled up on top of it though. I was standing, bent over, face first. IN THE DAMN SINK.
i feel like my tongue has its own mouth, and that mouth just bit its tongue and is clenching its teeth.
I'm sorry but I require more work than your hamster. I need food, a minimum of 5 pillows, and I need to be played with daily.
I just walked away from a youth soccer tournament popping every birth control pill I had left in the pack.
Just got to her place. Her parents are here and are high as a kite.
Her father just game me a high 5 as they left the room. Her mom leaned in and said "this is a rebound thing"
His dick was so bent it was like fucking captain hook's hand for 2 hours
If I shaved my pubic hair into a heart for valentine's day how much would you judge me?
Dude, you got arrested and then texted 911 to tell them you'd been kidnapped with a screenshot of your current location.
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
If I slept with her my dick would come out glittery
coward.
Randomize
