Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
the best thing about tacos is after you shit them all out you feel like to have room for your dignity to come back
true best friends attempt to put quarters in each others butts. Thanks for the best birthday ever!
I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
david just texted me. reply with photo of genitalia? y/n
I could tell by the way he was holding my hand that he really liked you
just saw someone climb out of the dumpster at cvs and start walking down the street like it was completely normal
Turns out, his fucking is as lame and staggered as his NFL career.
I'm pretty sure my intestines are bleeding but I'm still going to Orlando to catch that orgasm.
Idk man, we spent like 20 mins arguing about the moral ambiguity of fucking in someone else's car
I told him I wish we were at my house cause then I could tell him to get out after we had sex.
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
I woke up on the hammock spooning a box of Cheese Itz.
you said you were going to the bathroom. we found you an hour later laying in the backyard clutching a bottle of vodka while singing the beatles and crying
If he knew how badly I want to blow him he’d stop talking about his wife
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