so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
I totally thought the tree was playing the guitar
I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
Woke up to a denim duvet cover this morning... why r guys so tacky?
Just drove past a church with a sign near it that said, "God wants to be your daddy."
he was fingering the outside of my pants..i knew that was my cue to leave
her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
My dad walked in on me masturbating in my own apartment.....my own apartment!!
Thank you as well. My penis is starting a slow-clap right now.
If you two are having sex, stop. I have something really important to ask you about psychics.
Sitting in bed reading a porn novel off my phone and accidentally just made Siri start reading the most graphic part aloud. FUN FIRST NIGHT WITH THE NEW ROOMIE.
We need a shit load of segways right now
He seems like a super lonely dude. I bet if I gave him a picture of my tits he wouldn't make me turn in this paper.
That portable toilet under the bed? Turns out it was a tuba. Explains alot.
Randomize
