we were having sex in the bathroom when his aunt knocked on the door
and rather than go out and meet her, i climbed out the window. so now she thinks he was masturbating and moaning his own name in a really girly voice
just saw a midget ride a motorized cooler into the liquor store. i'm gonna follow him home.
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
I knew shit got real when the pinapple was gone and people were just passing around the core and gnawing on it.
Yeah but I get laid and I know. He drank toilet water last night and he doesn't know about that either. Still makes me happy though.
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
WHEN DID YOU SAY YOU COME BACK BC I GOT INVITED TO A KEG WAR PARTY
Remind me to tell you a really funny story about me and arson.
I just saw a herd of slutty loofahs run down the street...
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
I spent the day drinking wine and meditating. I'm zen as fuck.
I woke up knowing I have nowhere to be today except parties and it was glorious and I am so happy
I am talking to a naked lesbian about robots. I think this means I win life.
Yeah. We had phone sex then cried together, it was beautiful and heartbreaking
Randomize
