can "i'm close!" be our safe word(s)?
oh geez, wrong person.
Dude if you're in another zip code it doesn't count
You don't understand. I'm not like you.
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
I was 100% done.. I used my vibrator while eating cold pizza. Shit was magical.
We joked about how funny it would be if he got pulled over with 300 breakfast burritos in hus car. We walk outside of the school just as the police lights turn on and pull him over
He's been pretending to be gay for 3 months in order to get free weed.
I put on a tiger onsie to initiate sex... It worked
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
Hey before you quit, let me sell drugs to your boss at least one more time
Just asphyxiate me and toss my corpse in the Ocean. It'll be easier than whatever the next four or eight years will bring.
If we hadn't just agreed to no commitment, i'd totally propose right now. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
I knew how high you were when you put a french fry in your mouth and said 'fuck, this tastes like meat but feels blue.'
gave out my moms phone number instead of mine last night... thattttttttttttttt dunk.
Oh god I found a set of car keys in my pocket, and I have no idea who's they are
Randomize