I want to take you away to a place of dolphin rides and hot stone massages.
He is such a slut. More and more my type.
this girl is running around outside screaming, it's creaming on me! it's creaming on me. I totally have to find my video camera
Driving out to Plano is like driving away from your twenties
I let some guy put hot sauce in my asshole for his birthday
Tonight has been like a good ass fucking high school movie
Reason #437 to hate Louisiana: Just went to the public bathroom at work. It was so humid the toilet seat was damp and sticky. Either it's the humidity or I sat in somebody's yesterday piss. I choose to believe the humidity.
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
He said I taste like butterscotch, licked me, then I'm pretty sure he wet his pants. So no, I do not want to invite him over.
I just got a flashback from Saturday night of you helping me wash my feet in the bar's bathroom.
I was giving a campus tour, when a drunk senior came up behind me and shouted at the group, "If Jesus ain't your homeboy - get the fuck off this campus!" Looks like his religion course is paying off...
For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well.
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
I really don't want to get drunk alone tonight. Like, I'll do it, but I won't enjoy it.
It must be love. I'm deleting my porn for him.
Randomize
