you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
I'll never ask another girl to get on top again, that girl from the bar last night got on top and shit diareah all over my ball sack while she was cumming.
I buy you gas. You blow me. Economics.
Fucking him was like shopping for my first training bra.. Embarrassing yet extremely useful
the repo guy said it was the first time he'd ever started to repo a car with someone fucking inside of it. he might have said 'doing it' instead.
A man bought two 40's from me, then asked if I had duct tape. How do people over 50 know about Edward 40hands? It was very weird.
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
he could've at least fucked me twice. that's just common courtesy.
My Canadian brought me three bottles of maple syrup, a sunflower, and a pair of Oakleys back to the states...he's either drunk or he loves me
I have bruises from doing the splits on the poles, if that doesn't scream bourbon street regret then I don't know what does
If I don't get to have sex with him soon my entire female reproductive system is gonna climb out of my body and choke me to death
He has an accent, blue cross AND gainful employment. Just saying, he's going to urgent care once I'm done with him
We banged in my car doggy style with my head out the window. The sky was marvelous and I saw a shooting star. Its destiny; we're meant to fuck forever.
I told him we can’t see each other today because absence makes the heart grow fonder but mostly I just need to rest my vag
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