just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
We named our saturday intramural dodgeball team "we're hungover". Pretty much just an excuse to fuel my alcoholism on friday nights.
i just opened up my bathroom cabinet to get deodorant and found 4 bottles of natty. Its like the world wants me to miss this interview
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
Yeah someone just put a trash bag that says "use protection" on the snow penis
Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship
Most likely. calling 911 isnt usually something i do the first time i hang out w. someone, but hey. its a good story now.
He's practically not my boyfriend anymore. So let's go get some glitter, balloons, alcohol and forget this night ever happened.
I saw a shooting star while he was eating me out at 3am by my neighbors pool. Doesn't get more magical than that
How have I seen you throw up on yourself 3 different times, yet we weren't Facebook friends until I accidentally hooked up with your ex?
Seriously though, passing out on the police station floor must have been priceless!
With everyone putting up pictures of their moms on Facebook it's time to go single MILF hunting.
"This is Emily. She likes potatoes. And sometimes laughs and cries at the same time, and has a wonderful butt"
He said that we couldn't refer to each other as brother and sister anymore cuz we were in no way related and he would love nothing more than to get naked with me.
I got a 93 percent on my last mid term and I was drunk. Think of the possibilities if i were sober for the one thats tommorrow.
Randomize
