Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
I lost my grandmas ring. Probably during the handjob.
He deleted all his profile pics with her. It was like the bat signal for single women everywhere.
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
Girl at work pointed out that the blood vessels around my eyes were all popped and I smell like puke
And I also succeeded in getting kicked out of a bar when I was drinking straight from the vodka bottle at our table.
The Medal of Honor you banged could be at the inauguration today. You really dropped the ball on keeping up with that one.
Life's too short to be sucking dicks in cars for the rest of my life.
I just found my lube on the ground next to my bed. I would pay money to find out what the fuck happened that night.
The George Foreman grill is melted. I don't know what other problems could arise.
It's accurate though. I am legitimately passionate about pickles. I crave pickles the same way I crave sex. It is a deep rooted animalistic need
Nice. Make him jerk off and tape it. Send it to his woman. I also love that you had another skype date
He brought me another shot of rum, ice and my underwear when I woke up.
What a gentleman.
I KNOW, right?!
Want to meet at a cool spot and just park like cops side-by-side and you can eat some potatoes and I can smoke a cigarette in your face?
Randomize
