Hahaha figures, hmm should I spank you? Or throw a cow at you?
Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
Why can't we have signs that automatically flash on our foreheads that say not interested when gross ugly guys come around, like those glasses that get dark when the sun comes out?
i just practiced my bj skills on a banana in front of the mirror
its going to be a good night
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
Nothing makes my dick softer than hot girls in rain boots.
Also, I'd like to add that that I'm not quitting my job, my boss fed me shots at 11 am this morning.
As a general rule, drunkenness and gymnastics do not mix.
I got my little bro high for the first time... Turns out the two of us stoned together is a mess. We spent 10 minutes trying to communicate with each other using just our eyebrows.
You called me your momma bear, and then demanded more vodka
I'm too high and old for this...
It's okay that we broke up and all but it's not okay that he still has my Chick-fil-A calendar card. This month is free fries!
I give out orgasms like candy and ride a motorcycle...how is that not appealing
i just watched a 7 minute video on people making a hot air balloon for their dog and i am a changed person
Quit bitching. I brought you a muffin.
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