Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
In the hospital waiting to be tested for the first uti of the school year....I'm BACK BTICHES.
I bought this skirt with every intention to have it wrapped around my tits by the end of the night. So, I'm not a whore. I'm a self-fulfilling prophecy.
i just saw the eighteen different ways i could die and only after that did i realize i'd made a poor decision
I found her in the trunk, smoking a cigarette, saying every girl should know how to get out of their trunk
blah blah blah they called me an alcoholic because I threw my beer at a Jesus freak. it was for the best
Went to anytime fitness at 3:34 am drunk after the the bar and getting whataburger. Lifted weights with my cheeseburger between my knees. That's called DEDICATION.
Can you please come and collect your boss off of my kitchen floor.
Well pulled into the driveway, and there she was. Kinda like a Vegas version of the mint on a pillow
I think i just shit in their garbage can, I'm ready for that ride u owe bro.
I'm eating Doritos at 9am because last nights weed is just now starting to wear off
I wanna get high and watch Shrek tonight...don't make me do it alone.
I look at it as community service. He was going through a rough time and I gave him an ego boost. That's how we're going to remember it. I was doing a good deed lol
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
If he ever pulls my hair again, I'm going to conveniently have lock jaw. Then he can decide whether pain during sex is still fucking appealing.
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