she was so "full of love" from watching twilight that she came over and gave me a handjob. when does the next movie come out?
i'm glad we're now at the level of friendship where we can comfortably discuss the quality of our shit
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
And why did 3 people fail to stop me from literally getting a piggy back ride from the bar to his apartment?!
Why isn't there a sort by hair color option on Facebook? It would make stalking much easier.
Thank you for not puking on my lap during the first class of the semester. And fuck you for doing it in the second.
I am so juiced up on period drugs and coffee I feel like my skin is going to fall off.
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
Whoever put salsa in the kiddie pool.....your an ass. Fuck you.
He fucks like those drill things that you see when you think of texas
She leaned in close to me, made eye contact, and seriously whispered "I will eat your soul with bacon bits." I want whatever drug she was on.
All I've consumed in the last 24 hours is cranberry vodka and kosher for passover biscotti
That's what happens when you party with the tribe
He fucked me in his tour van, I feel like an official groupie.... Except I don't even listen to his band.
Just finished 151. Eating nutella off a spoon. Bring condoms.
omg last night while walking home from your house I stole a seatless bike and carried it into my next door neighbors kitchen.. we just looked It up online it's an antique and worth $500 dollars
Randomize
