I pooped in a mop bucket.
WTF???
Their employee restroom was locked what kind of customer service is that
Im mastering the way to pass gas silently.
I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
you grabbed the waitors dick and yelled '2nd base' and then he gave you his number. I hate your life.
Thanks for the drunken voicemail of bird calls. Love and miss you, too.
After 13 tally marks I wrote the number 4,000 and made u sign my arm to prove it.
Just got blown in a rental car. I need to get rear ended more often
This is simple. Just sex and high fives. No feelings.
Phone sex soon? I mean date. Sex date. Date phone.
all 3? possibly?
I think I'm up to the challenge.
Did I fall on/off the boat yesterday? Cuz my right leg looks and feels like if it got hit by shrapnel.
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
Randomize
