just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
He was completely serious when he said my boobs were like "majestic white clouds."
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
I AM SAFE. EVERYTHING IS FOG. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED.
It was honestly the most delicious alcohol I've ever drank, plus the added risk of going blind from methanol poisoning really enhanced the experience.
So after this weekend I think I'm gonna go down on one knee and propose to my boyfriend that he give me his liver.
Wonderful brian is stoned out of his mind, floating in a lawn chair in the hot tub eating a giant plate of macaroni and staring at the moon
Well we get the HIV results on my birthday haha. It'll be like happy birthday kid, you have AIDS.
I'm using my ex bfs phone number to look up his Kroger card so I can get a discount on condoms...yep this is my life
This is the third year in a row that Mario has fallen through a table on New Years. I'm sensing a tradition developing.
the good news is that even if it's Alex's, I can still say it's Colin's, because the kid will come out ginger anyway!
who knew there'd be a plus side to your ginger fetish one day?
Hey, YOU try working out drunk every night! Besides, I think at least one of those bruises is a hickey.
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
I'm gonna go take a shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
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