and she's shaped like a lego person so that's not happening
I think i'm just gonna start shot-gunning everything that comes in can form.
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
if women knew the size of my dick, theyd be much more receptive to my sloppy drunken advances
Having a race with the dryer. Seeing who can get drunk/dry clothes faster.
Just gave a gay guy pointers on how to make anal not hurt. Reevaluation of life choices: in progress.
Tis the season to puke in grandma's bathroom
He bought me a oreo ice cream cake with "thanks for not calling the cops!" written in icing. If that doesn't sum up winter break, I don't know what does.
Lights are FLASHING. This just got REAL. CAPTALIZATION.
I thought my ass was sore from the gym then I realized it was from being spanked. Confusing time in my life.
TIL a potato cannon can be loaded with dildos as ammunition. Boy, do our neighbours love us!
And I was like "take off the damn flower crown, we're about to have sex not post an indie picture on tumblr"
why not an indie porn pic then
I just want to get drunk and not have to worry about you leaving me at the bar.
No I didn't say it was safe, I said it was legal. I didn't say anything about it being safe. It's not my fault if you weren't listening properly.
The pandemic has not made Uber drivers any less chatty.
Randomize
