i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
halloween makes it hard to decipher real cops... from sexy men dressed up as them.
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
We both paused during sex to do the clap during the Friends theme song. Soulmates.
He tried to use a signal flare to light the bong
And?
He melted the stem
Whatever. I'll just fuck him now and deal with the clingyness later.
I puked walking onto the plane. How do you think my post-Birthday hangover went?
Facebook is for cat videos and having better lives than people from high school, period.
THERE IS A MOTHERFUCKING HUMMINGBIRD FLYING AROUND IN OUR HOUSE RIGHT NOW HOW DO I GET IT OUT????
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
She's sent me the same nudes using the same gestures and positions... It's like she has a template for her sluty-ness
What are you gunna do with your life today
put it back together
She asked what the dent on the hood of my car was from..i think she knows we had sex up there
Randomize
