Just spent the rest of my time at that bar trying to keep a probs underage closet gay from touching my kitten to prove he still likes girls.
I think I have a pornographic memory.
Don't you mean photographic?
No.
Highlight of my evening, pile of books falling onto me in front of people
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
not exactly restoring sanity, but he is throwing up on the national mall right now
Saddest moment ever is discovering when your cat no longer wants to get high with you.
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
I vaguely remember having a cowboy explain his belt buckle to me in the bathroom hallway
As if finding out the man you just had sex with is married isn't bad enough, it gets so much more awkward when his wife comes in to comfort you...
Then he rubbed shampoo all over my arm and shouted, "Garnier FUCK THIS."
I need drugs. Hard drugs. Today. Not tomorrow. Today. Something relaxing.
Did you know that if you chase vodka with cheap red wine it tastes exactly like college alcoholism?
I showed my cat the amount of coke I had. She looked concerned.
One less thong to worry about.
One less *thing! But probably that too.
Randomize
