I couldn't even finish, she was lounder and more annoying than DJ Khaled
the girls im babysitting are trying to see how much jello they can swallow without chewing...their future boyfriends are lucky
Sorry I never got back to you, I ended up at a party with pot ice cream, pot apple cider, and hash vegetable oil.
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
Just realized that St. Patty's is on a Saturday this year in case you were interested in coming to New York and redefining bender with me.
I kind of want to throw a lot of things at him. Mostly blunt, heavy objects.
I think someone tried to make a huge bowl of ramen in my bathtub. There's noodles everywhere in my bathroom.
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
Nothing makes the walk of shame as great as disapproval from a mom getting ready for work
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
Do you know how awkward it is to get a dick pic while working at babies r us?
So this morning everyone commended me for puking over the porch. No one else made it that far...
so i'm with my friends driving on the highway and just saw a guy in the car next to us sucking on a dildo. can't make this shit up.
Mom just walked in on a bj. IT'S WHATEVER.
I’m inviting a few of my favorite manwhores to a pool party. Bring booze and wear your banana hammock so Amy can see what I’m always talking about
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