the next pure michigan commercial i see, i am going to pee in a fucking lake
I swear coke makes your nose hairs grow out of control
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
Dear female. Happy valentines day. If you have not had the pleasure of making love to me, please do not fret, I will get around to it soon enough. If you indeed have made love to me, then bravo, wasn't that grand! Perhaps we should do it again? Regardless, have a good day. This has been a public service announcement. Rock on.
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
Zach is always passed out on the floor somewhere.face down in a puddle of his own absurdity
How the fuck you gonna play love don't cost a thing in a strip club?
Someone came in the potted fern
Who the fuck gets injured on a merry-go-round? HOW IS IT POSSIBLE??
I'm not into beards but apparently my vagina is.
Please don't think I'm weird for texting you this at 12:08 am but I just found another picture on the Internet where I think you can see his dick through whatever he's wearing
as a side note pls kill me
Oh yeah, nothing says welcome home like walking in on your parents having sex on your bed while the dog is watching, they told me to wait until they were done...
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