The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
Holy shit I just stopped short on route 18 because I thought my gps was saying I had to turn right in 11 feet. After almost hitting the guardrail I realized I had to turn in 11 miles.
Fuck I'm high.
Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
We talked him into tasing himself.
Stop making Mac and cheese and sit on his face. FINISH HIM
Hi I am too sober and out of rum. Translation: I owe you some beer. Also, get better taste in beer.
Dont even get me started. you fell asleep in my kitchen after being cockblocked when you tried to use my roommates bedroom.
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
he had shaved armpits. I repeat: HE SHAVED. HIS. ARMPITS! First hookup of 2014 and it's with a weirdo. Alcohol:1 Me:0
I'm trying to find a fanny pack so I can bring pizza on my run
Grandma and I are gonna see the new Tarzan movie, because we both appreciate shirtless Swedish men
Hey I’m obsessed with Charlie Heaton from stranger things...not because he got caught at the border with coke...okay that’s a lot of it
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
Surrounded by smaller versions of the same
Would you still love me if I got a Whatever Forever tattoo? It's like the Emo kids' Live Laugh Love
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