I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
Soo i just shotgunned a water balloon...
one two three fourrrrnication!
they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
I really thought you were going to tell me you were pregnant on facebook chat. FACEBOOK CHAT. I almost cried.
Woke up with two cats staring at me. One covered in puke thats giving me a look that says it might be my fault. Where am I? Come get me.
Meeting girls and telling em you have no hair on your calves is not an acceptable pick up line
Also. When I die, I'm gonna have them put me in the casket naked and then have an open casket funeral. That will be my last chance to make people uncomfortable.
I told him you forbid me to sleep with him so he needs to accept that.
I brought her cheeseburgers and tequila but she's still mad at me.
Ughh I think I'll just sit here in the dark and wallow in self-pity while drinking wine and knitting scarves for my future cats.
So uh. Your future in porn. Would you be willing to wear an alien costume for it?
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
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